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Can I give oral sex if I have genital herpes?

Discussion in 'Newly Diagnosed' started by someone1980, Oct 28, 2008.

  1. someone1980

    someone1980 Newbie

    Hi people,

    I am a female who was infected by some jerk who has not told me the truth when asked if he was healthy.
    I do not want to be that kind of jerk, so I will have to tell a new man in my life, which - miraculously - will probably stay with me after...

    I want kids and family, but herpes induces limitations on sex life,which I am not sure my future partner will want to bear without having an affair.
    So I'd like to know:


    How long after the outbreak is cured it is not advisable to have any kind of sex?

    Thank you.
  2. lifesstillgood

    lifesstillgood Active Member

    The word healthy is subjective. I have herpes but still consider myself healthy. Many people dont know they have herpes so dont jump to conclusions. If you really wanted to know if your partner had an std you would have had to ask them to get a complete std screening and then let you see the results.
    If you have oral herpes you can always pass it on if you perform oral sex on your partner whether you have an outbreak or you dont.
    If you only have genital herpes you cannot pass it on through oral sex.
    I have genital herpes and it doesnt put a dent in my sex life. If I do have an outbreak it is mild and lasts maybe 3 days. I dont take suppressive meds either.
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2008
  3. someone1980

    someone1980 Newbie

    Dear lifesstillgood,

    thank you for your comforting answer!

    I live outside US so probably people can be less open to those issues here.. But anyway, after you became aware about your infection - was it difficult for you to find a partner? (assuming, one must tell he/she is infected _before_ making sex, and at this stage people still have not developed close relationship - do many of them just run away? How is their reaction? I still haven't got the chance to check it and I am not looking forward to new relationship because of it...)
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