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I don't know if I'm having outbreaks

Discussion in 'About My Outbreaks' started by sunnybabe713, Jan 24, 2009.

  1. sunnybabe713

    sunnybabe713 Newbie

    :confused::confused:Hi All,
    I really need some advice! I've had HSV 1 (in my genital region) for 3.5 years now. Aside from my initial outbreak (august 05) I was, I think, asymptomatic for the majority of the time until now.

    Last June, I had the HORRIBLE experience of giving my herpes to someone else. I had noticed a tiny bump on my right vulva that, had I not known I had HSV, I would have easily attributed to razor burn.

    Because of that occurance I am now paranoid as hell about having outbreaks and not being aware of it! Now I am constantly looking for signs of an outbreak and it has stressed me out so much that I became unable to have sex with my boyfriend out of fear of having to deal with passing it to yet another person.

    Since June I have been very depressed/anxious (not just bc of the herpes thing) but I know that my stress level is monumental. Over Xmas I noticed a more classic herpes symptom and because it was in the same spot as the other outbreak I figured that it was an outbreak.

    Over the last month I have occasionally noticed what I judge to be potential sores (mind you, they look like razor bumps) and so I have taken some Valtrex here and there. The reason I do not take it every day is because I feel like I need to learn what an outbreak looks/feels like.

    Anyway, sorry for rambling, here is my point: I am stressed to no end because my symptoms are so mild that I am afraid I will not know when I am having an outbreak and perhaps pass it to someone I'm in a relationship with in the future. Please help :( this + my depression + my anxiety is driving me INSANE:(
  2. wrestler84

    wrestler84 Member

    I'm in a similar boat, except having it on the right side of my face. My severe outbreaks are only occasional, so ever since something clicked in my head about a month ago I've been freaking out about every little itch or bump (and since it's on my face I never really know if it's just a zit forming or what until after the fact). The best advice I can offer is just what I've done. Go to the doctor so you have valtrex on hand. That alone was big for my peice of mind. I felt like it gave me a slight amount of control, though nowhere near as much as I'd like. Then just try to stop stressing over little itches or twinges. I'm still on that stage. Just posting and venting and hearing from other people has been a huge help for me though, so I encourage you to get it out here and listen to people's responses.

    Personally I'm working on getting to the point where i can discern between a real outbreak coming on and an innocent itch/dry skin. It's taking a while but knowing I'm not the only one has helped immensely.
  3. ginnyp

    ginnyp Well-Known Member

    Even though I feel herpes hasn't affected me that much, I understand how you feel completely. Because ever since (or right before ) my first herpes ob, I've had UTIs, yeast infections, BV, HPV surgery, just LOTS of things going on down there to the point that I don't even know how many obs I've had. I want to be one of those people who feels the prodome tingle, starts the meds, and a week later is almost done with the ob. But not me. I have had feelings ongoing sometimes, yeast problems that can feel like obs, general vulvar uncomfortableness and I truly do not know if it's an ob, yeast, bv, or hpv, or WHAT. It's annoying becuase my bf is negative, so it really messes with my mind that I can't always tell exactly what's going on. The 2 obs that I believe were obs were so minor - I sometimes go crazy wondering what is going on. I'm even on suppressive therapy so I'm not supposed to get ob after ob after ob. My gyne does not think this is all ob. He believes I've had a persistent yeast problem, which of course mimics symptoms of hsv, and he believes hpv may even be playing a role. We are trying to find out so he said whenever I'm at that point of not knowing but in the peak of something, he will see me the same day. No matter what. He wants to figure this out too.

    It's very stressful because for over a year my mind has been on my vagina. And other people say "I had my first ob and now I've been fine for 4 months." Well I have never been fine for that long. I have never had the luxury of feeling the prodome, getting the sore, then watching it heal. Having minor symptoms can drive us a little crazy, and having all these other symptoms that I have can make us even crazier.

    But I still feel okay about the herpes. Because my life has gone on, I've done other things, been with friends and family, and my bf has been very good about it (after his initial reaction). So I know herpes doesn't rule my life. If I can just figure out all these different pieces, I will be much happier.
  4. Patty

    Patty Newbie

    understand your issue

    I have the same problem, I was diagnosed 2 years ago and didn't even realize I had the "gift" til the 2nd year when i had an ob that I thought was a yeast infection and was than told I had HSV2, this was very hard on me, because i had been raped and this is what i recieved from my assislant.
    I am on daily suppresive medication and every time i have a itch or tingle i think its an ob, i can not seperate the normal itch from an ob, i have no signs below to tell me if it is an ob. i wish i could figure it out.
  5. whataboutbob

    whataboutbob Newbie


    My outbreak (well, the bad one anyway, I've had things going on down there for a long time but I don't think it was herpes) was really bad, lasted about two weeks. That was almost three years ago now, and I haven't gotten anything like that since. In fact, I can't really say that I've had an outbreak at all since then. No sores (at least not any that looked like the initial ones) or really bad itching. The problem is, it always itches a little bit. But i think that all guys itch down there, that is why we are always scratching ourselves right? I am in a relationship and would love to know the difference between prodome tingling and normal itching, that way I would know if I should steer clear of sex because something is coming on. But since I never really have an outbreak I never know. It really sucks. I take valtrex every day purely to reduce the chance of spreading it. When my girlfriend goes away to school I go off of it and do not notice any difference at all, no sores, no increased itching. I just have no idea.
  6. crazy2009

    crazy2009 Newbie

    I totally agree with you..and understand

    Evidently, my doctor told me that i've had this for a long time. But, i've never had an outbreak until recently. I had one little cut that has taken forever to go away. I'm taking Valtrex and it reduces the symptoms but the one area that is affected just doesn't seem to go away. I'm going to see a new doctor very soon. I can't live like this. My fucking mind is nuts and i'm tired of thinking about this. I've become a cave dweller lately and that too is not healthy. I'm a good looking, young (38) male who has a huge sex drive and can't do anything about it in fear that i'll do something to activate it....
  7. whyres

    whyres Newbie

    I know what you mean!!!!Mild Symptoms drive us crazy.

    I totally understand the stress that one experiences from not knowing when an outbreak is happening. I have been blood tested positive for HSV2, but I have never had a "severe" or classic response. The problem is that my symptoms are very minimal, but I know they happen and I greatly fear spreading this to someone else.

    If 80% of the people how have HSV "Don't experience significant symptoms," but we do shed asymptomatically and have outbreaks that are difficult to culture and to perceive. This removes ones ability to feel in control of situation. I want always be responsible and not infect those I'm intimate with, so I avoid intimate relations altogether. I take Famcyclovir for suppression, and I utilize a natural lysine/anti viral substance routine.

    In short, I have tried every remedy (both prescription and homeopathic) listed on the internet. I like some more than others. But nothing has totally allowed me to feel "symptom free" for extended periods of time. I'm slowly coming to terms with the psychological trauma of this disease. I can't wait for new and better treatments to help stop the spread of this disease.

    Starpharma's viva gel looks very interesting. I can't wait to try the Durex coated versions of this product. (In trials now)

    The upcoming potential vaccines are looking good, but I can't believe the lack of funding and zeal for this process. I will not offer up the usual conspiracy theories about why drug companies avoid finding the cure while reaping millions from suppressive therapy drugs like Valtrex and Famvir.

    I recently read a news article about the Health industry investing millions into Tobacco stocks. (All they care about is money?) Needless to say, they accept a large portion of the US GNP, and rank low compared to other nations.

    I seriously question the "profit" model of medical treatment, but that is a post for another day.
  8. Lookonthesunnyside

    Lookonthesunnyside Active Member

    you beat me to it

    I was just about to post a thread concerning the same thing! I'm with someone who knows and we both want to have sex sometime soon. The problem is, if I feel any itchiness at all I then I freak out and dont want to do it any time after that for fear that I'm shedding. But I dont go very long without getting ANY itchiness. Like today, I had felt nothing down there for days but then I felt a bit itchy in one spot for a few seconds. Now I feel like I shouldnt sleep with him this weekend in case I'm shedding. Even though I am on suppressive therapy and without any real signs of an outbreak. Like I actually am not sure at all whats acceptable. People without herpes itch too right!? Its just hard now to know what is normal itching and what is herpes related.

    So I dont really know what to do either :confused: I have had doctors tell me that in order to spread this a person would know for sure that something is up, and that its very rare to spread without symptoms. But the whole "asymptomatic shedding" thing is really scary.

    And I too have suffered with depression and anxiety in the past couple years, I know its not a fun time when this is thrown into the mix. The only thing I can suggest is trying to deal with your anxiety and depression in any way you can, getting any support that you need. And at the same time trying to stress less about herpes. I know its hard, but I have found a big correlation between stress and symptoms. So take deep breaths and tell yourself that its going to be okay. Take your time with things sexually. I'm going through the exact same thing and found that talking openly with my boyfriend about my worries/his worries/all this stuff has really helped.

    It'll all get sorted out. And remind yourself, what happened to you before is the way the majority of people contract herpes, from people who dont recognize their symptoms. Now that you're aware and taking precautions the chances of you transmitting this to someone else is actually very very low.

    Vow to give yourself a break (maybe starting with 3 days or so) of looking in the mirror and checking for symptoms, focus on relaxing and taking care of yourself, and try and take a mental break from all of this. If you check again after that everything will most likely be fine and you'll see that your body is taking care of this on its own, you dont need to constantly be searching for symptoms. (Easier said than done, I know! But its necessary to give yourself a break from the constant checking, its exhausting.) Also, 3.5 years means that your body IS used to fighting off this virus, and that on average you will be shedding less than say a person who's in their first year. I really dont think you need to worry so much about all this. It sounds like its under control, you're just fixating on symptoms. Its very easy to feel uncomfortable somewhere on your body if you're waiting to.

    Anyways I hope you're feeling better and that you're finding ways of coping with this. It will all be okay ;)
  9. teacher222

    teacher222 Newbie

    I just found out I have h2 as well... and I said the same thing.. I'm 29 years old and feel like I'm never going to get back to my normal life. I think about it constantly because I never know if I'm symptomatic or not.... if you figure out the magic pill to stop dwelling please pass it on! : )
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