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My husband gave me herpes...

Discussion in 'Newly Diagnosed' started by foreverlonely, Jan 22, 2007.

  1. foreverlonely

    foreverlonely Newbie

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    My husband cheated on me about two years ago and got Chlymadia from a one night stand (and gave it to me). Since that time, I have gotten tested every 6 months. Last week, I did my usual round of STD testing and I was devastated when I got the news that I have gential herpes.

    Just when my life seems to be coming together it is falling apart. I hate my husband so much right now because he took my life from me so I want to take his. I had planned on filing for a divorce after I made my 10 years in the marriage (so that I could draw from his social security) but now what's the point?

    I wish he would just die. He has taken my chance to live a normal life with someone that would love me BUT that won't happen now because I would never want to take that risk with anyone else's life.

    I can't eat--and I'm living on pure rage and hate at the moment. I've never known this much anger in my life.
  2. cdngirl

    cdngirl Member

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    I'm really sorry to hear that! Your life isn't over it just seems like that! I understand that completely...research says that a LOT more people than we realize have it. You have to try to have some faith. I know it is VERY difficult...just try.
  3. Renee

    Renee Member

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    Has he had more affairs since then? That sucks. It's not worth it, living with him and hating him. There are decent guys out there who will care for you even though you have HSV, I guarantee it. You can absolutely have a great relationship regardless. I know things look hopeless right now and you are angry, as you have every right to be. But don't stay with this guy just because you think no one else will have you. Because that is so not true. I swear.
  4. tothefuture

    tothefuture No longer a member

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    So if I've got this right - if you've been tested every 6 months since he had the affair then he MUST have been unfaithful again, otherwise you would have tested positive for herpes before now.

    If this is the first time you've been tested for herpes, then there's always the possibility that you've had it for years but without symptoms/signs (I'm only saying this because in the UK routine STD screening does not include testing for herpes!!!! ) :???:
  5. 305411

    305411 Newbie

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    I feel your pain!!

    I am in the same situation. I just found out about my husbands OTHER life and affair just last Sept. We had slept before me even finding out about his affair. I then got an STD and I went back to my OB and requested a FULL STD scan since on a previus thread when you get tested you must request for a FULL STD scan which I didnt know till now. I just found out I tested positive for HSVI/II..AGAIN I am devastated!!! Like you I HATE my so-called husband. I look at him and am disgusted. We have been married coming up 10years and his affair of 10 months has cost me EVERYTHING. Not only did he bring home STD's but also an illegitimate child from his mess.
    The other threads are right. WE CAN AND WILL GO ON!!! There is someone out there who will love us with this disease!!!
    We will have to learn to live now a more cautious life now. I have 3 children that bring me the utmost joy. So, since being newly diagnosed I am now focusing on getting very educated on HSV and trying to go on and live a productive life!!!
    As for my low-life of a husband he can go where the sun dont shine!!! HE is the LOSER in all of this. His life, his marriage, his STRENGTH, is gone. What does he have? From what I see. He has nothing!!!
    We are the VICTORS...dont let him take anymore of YOU...You matter in this world..It is just too bad they dont see that!!
    Chin up and look to the sun...There is always LIFE,,,Take care and I hope things look up for you!!!
  6. tohealth

    tohealth Active Member

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    Ladies, in the United States, what your husbands have done is not only outrageous, but patently illegal. You can sue him. In fact, you can even sue the person who infected HIM, if they had reason to believe they might be infected. This is just American legal information. I am not telling you what to do. But so few people know their legal rights in these matters--including the perpetrators who don't assume their behavior could have serious health or legal consequences, which does go towards their repeat negligence about it all. Here's one case study if of interest.

    http://biotech.law.lsu.edu/cases/STDs/Meany.htm
  7. dangermouse

    dangermouse Guest

    Foreverlonely,

    The others are right, there are guys out there who will ride this out with you. I did.

    DM
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