my husband was diagnosed about 15 months ago with HPV-2 doctor said it could have been dormant in his system for 20 years, this can happen. we have been together for 12 years and never any symptoms. He was totally and completely devastated and started having lots of bad outbreaks, treatments just didnt seem to work. on our 10th wedding anniversary and xmas eve, he left and said the marriage is over and he's never coming back. we have a beautiful waterfront home, a beautiful little child, financially secure and a fantastic life and a great marriage. but a year without sex is a long time and then the love and intimacy gets called into question i guess. i love him more than anything else in this entire world (along wiht our child) but he has closed down completely, switched off , refusing counselling, taken every possession he owns. he is an incredibly successful, compassionate, loving and caring guy with a lot of friends and a great career. Right now, he has left me, he has no job, no where to live, no money and full blown herpes, and no one knows except me, his wife. We have a little child who misses her daddy. he sees her everyday. He will not talk to me or even look at me. Says the marriage is over i am due no explanation and thats it. After 12 years together? Thats it? Now he's seems out to self-destruct, he wants our family home sold, he wants a divorce, he wants half of everything, he told me he just wants a 'new life" on his own. Its totally insane. Its so very irrational for him and so out of character, he has a very gentle caring nature and very sensitve guy, and its like he hates himself so is trying to just ruin his life. I think he's fallen into a dark place and mentally I am 99% positive that the herpes has just taken over him. He cried when he first told me he had it, he was so totally devastated but I just always told him, its ok, we will get through this, its not cancer, we can just get past it together. I never really thought the mental impact it could have. He has been a bit depressed since he got it and lost his 'sparkle' . I have asked our friends to keep an eye on him but they dont think he's depressed (of course no one in the world knows that he has Herpes or how he feels about that, and i could never betray him and tell anyone) I love him and would do anything to get him back. I have never questioned how he got herpes as we have always been faithful and i just know from research this is just one of those unfortunate things that can happen, its no ones fault. He could have got it age 18. anything. But, He has been incredibly stressed and lost a really big job just a month or so before he got his first outbreak and was diagnosed with Herpes. Since then it just never really got much better. We thought it would just improve and our sex lives could resume certainly I had no problem with that and so I thought we were OK. but he got lots of outbreaks and so we just never had sex anymore (for a year) he is only 40. We have a lovely life and i think he is totally depressed and this is caused by the herpes. I spoke to his doctor to tell him what had happend, that he walked out on his family right on xmas eve etc. The doctor was most concerned about all of this, really quite distressed to hear it. But he cannot do anything, so all I can hope for is that my man talks to his doctor (but even if he does I wont find out, due to patient doctor confidentiality) but at least the Dr can try and get him suppressants/ or see some one to talk it all through with. I went and got my own shrink to help me through the separation (this is only 4 weeks ago he left!!) and my shrink is hugely concerned about the mental state of my guy but she cant do anything about it either, she is the only one i have told about the herpes so she knows the full story about our lives and i am trying to make sense why he would just walk out on a fantastic life and marriage, i love him 100% and always will. in the meantime i have to sit back and just hope he doesnt self destruct and take the whole family with him. I love him more than anything and will do anything to make sure he is OK, but right now he has shut me right out so i just have to hope this all works out. Does anyone else have examples of people just self-destructing themselves or their relationships or their marriages due to depression casued by herpes?