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i feel sick to my stomach...

Discussion in 'Newly Diagnosed' started by lostsociety, Jul 30, 2010.

  1. lostsociety

    lostsociety Newbie

    i get my results back in 4 days. all signs point to positive.

    i contracted it last weekend, i was drinking heavily, smoking, i don't remember much but waking up in a bed with a guy on top of me and blacking out again.

    i woke up and felt fine, just hungover. the next day itchiness started, i felt exhausted, but i attributed that to working long hours the week before and the itchiness i had down to shaving and, uh, not being properly lubed while being basically raped.

    i checked myself with a mirror, saw nothing figured it'd go away. it did.

    next day i woke up with a sore throat and ear ache. called my pcp, went in for an appt was told i had an upper respiratory infection and sent home to ride it out. i mentioned having little white patches all over the back of my throat. i was swabbed for strep, came back negative. i didn't have a fever.

    he said the resp infection was why i was so exhausted.

    next day, itchiness was slight i looked in the mirror and saw three little lesions, got in the shower, felt a hard lump next to one of the lesions flipped, called a free clinic and went in the next AM. (today)

    she took one look, said it looked like herpes, took a swab, checked inside of me, said there were more lesions, took a sample of my discharge and left the room.

    i also have bacterial vaginosis now.

    i've never felt so disgusting in my life, i feel so stupid that i let myself get so trashed in public or that i didnt take anyone with me i could trust to get me home safely. i've not told anyone yet so it has been hard keeping a straight face around everyone when all i want to do is cry.

    i'm on 4 diff meds right now and i'm sick to my stomach over all of this.

    i really hope it comes up negative and everything is all a bizarre series of coincidences, i dont want to have to carry around the burden of that night the rest of my life or explain it to anyone.
  2. mamaem

    mamaem Active Member

    It will get better. Also, hang in there for better treatments, vaccines and hopefully a cure. Check out the cure section, there is a few things happening that will hopefully lead to a herpes-free world!!! Chin up!:wavey:
  3. Denise 07

    Denise 07 Active Member

    I really hope your results are negative but it doesn't sound very good when you mention lesions. So sorry that this happened to you :( Unfortunately we don't have a cure but I'm confident that we will within the next decade. I know that's not much comfort for you to hear right now but all you can do is try to move forward. When you get the results I would ask to see what type of hsv you have. Usually genital hsv-1 which is what I have you will have less outbreaks than genital hsv-2. Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping that it is something else and not herpes but if it is herpes this site is awesome and people give very good advice :) In time it will get better for you. I had my first outbreak last November. Take Care :)
  4. lostsociety

    lostsociety Newbie

    thank you for the kind words!

    i am beginning to accept it more, the antivirals seem to be working which doesn't bode well for me. it more than likely means i'm positive, right?

    but i guess i have to look on the bright side, this is my initial OB and it seems pretty mild compared to what i've read some of the others have gone through.

    i finally did tell someone, a cousin, and her reaction was like "well, doesn't 1-6 people have it anyway? so it's pretty common." and she mentioned that she has cold sores and only gets like 1 ob a yr, which made me feel a little better.

    i had a dumb moment last night where i was terrified of going to sleep since it's in my throat, i thought i'd drool, roll around in it and then get it all over my face...so i came here and read a bit more to calm my fears of that.

    thank god for this place!
  5. lostsociety

    lostsociety Newbie

    just heard back from my dr re: test results.

    i am positive for HSV-1. while not great, i'd rather of been negative, i am aware that HSV-1 is the less severe. and as weird as it sounds, i'm happy. The dr made it seem as though HSV-1 ROB's in the genitals rarely happen?

    since i have it in my throat and i'm prone to ear infections (got a real bad one during my intial ob) i am opting to do daily suppressive therapy...
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