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i feel sick to my stomach...

Discussion in 'Newly Diagnosed' started by lostsociety, Jul 30, 2010.

  1. lostsociety

    lostsociety Newbie

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    i get my results back in 4 days. all signs point to positive.

    i contracted it last weekend, i was drinking heavily, smoking, i don't remember much but waking up in a bed with a guy on top of me and blacking out again.

    i woke up and felt fine, just hungover. the next day itchiness started, i felt exhausted, but i attributed that to working long hours the week before and the itchiness i had down to shaving and, uh, not being properly lubed while being basically raped.

    i checked myself with a mirror, saw nothing figured it'd go away. it did.

    next day i woke up with a sore throat and ear ache. called my pcp, went in for an appt was told i had an upper respiratory infection and sent home to ride it out. i mentioned having little white patches all over the back of my throat. i was swabbed for strep, came back negative. i didn't have a fever.

    he said the resp infection was why i was so exhausted.

    next day, itchiness was slight i looked in the mirror and saw three little lesions, got in the shower, felt a hard lump next to one of the lesions flipped, called a free clinic and went in the next AM. (today)

    she took one look, said it looked like herpes, took a swab, checked inside of me, said there were more lesions, took a sample of my discharge and left the room.

    i also have bacterial vaginosis now.

    i've never felt so disgusting in my life, i feel so stupid that i let myself get so trashed in public or that i didnt take anyone with me i could trust to get me home safely. i've not told anyone yet so it has been hard keeping a straight face around everyone when all i want to do is cry.

    i'm on 4 diff meds right now and i'm sick to my stomach over all of this.

    i really hope it comes up negative and everything is all a bizarre series of coincidences, i dont want to have to carry around the burden of that night the rest of my life or explain it to anyone.
     
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  2. mamaem

    mamaem Active Member

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    It will get better. Also, hang in there for better treatments, vaccines and hopefully a cure. Check out the cure section, there is a few things happening that will hopefully lead to a herpes-free world!!! Chin up!:wavey:
     
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  3. Denise 07

    Denise 07 Active Member

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    I really hope your results are negative but it doesn't sound very good when you mention lesions. So sorry that this happened to you :( Unfortunately we don't have a cure but I'm confident that we will within the next decade. I know that's not much comfort for you to hear right now but all you can do is try to move forward. When you get the results I would ask to see what type of hsv you have. Usually genital hsv-1 which is what I have you will have less outbreaks than genital hsv-2. Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping that it is something else and not herpes but if it is herpes this site is awesome and people give very good advice :) In time it will get better for you. I had my first outbreak last November. Take Care :)
     
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  4. lostsociety

    lostsociety Newbie

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    thank you for the kind words!

    i am beginning to accept it more, the antivirals seem to be working which doesn't bode well for me. it more than likely means i'm positive, right?

    but i guess i have to look on the bright side, this is my initial OB and it seems pretty mild compared to what i've read some of the others have gone through.

    i finally did tell someone, a cousin, and her reaction was like "well, doesn't 1-6 people have it anyway? so it's pretty common." and she mentioned that she has cold sores and only gets like 1 ob a yr, which made me feel a little better.

    i had a dumb moment last night where i was terrified of going to sleep since it's in my throat, i thought i'd drool, roll around in it and then get it all over my face...so i came here and read a bit more to calm my fears of that.

    thank god for this place!
     
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  5. lostsociety

    lostsociety Newbie

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    just heard back from my dr re: test results.

    i am positive for HSV-1. while not great, i'd rather of been negative, i am aware that HSV-1 is the less severe. and as weird as it sounds, i'm happy. The dr made it seem as though HSV-1 ROB's in the genitals rarely happen?

    since i have it in my throat and i'm prone to ear infections (got a real bad one during my intial ob) i am opting to do daily suppressive therapy...
     
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