The Importance of Positive Thinking and Acceptance
Do not let herpes define you
Herpes does not change all the good and wonderful things that make you ‘you’. It has nothing to do with your intelligence, social habits, or bank account. You are a loving, sexual, whole individual and no-one else on the planet has the things that you have to offer – remember this. This skin condition does not make the essence of you any less beautiful.
More people than you could ever imagine are affected by herpes, including some of your family, friends and co-workers. It’s just that people don’t talk about it!
If you are at a party, a work place or family gathering and there is 20 people there, guess what? Statistically 4 people at this gathering have genital herpes and nearly 14 will have oral herpes. Yikes! Looks like the people without herpes antibodies are the odd ones out 🙂
Herpes is for life, but so are many other conditions
Do not be discouraged by this condition. Although there is currently no “cure” for herpes there are definitely effective ways to manage the symptoms and precautions that you can take to help prevent transmitting the virus to a partner.
Keep in mind that there is no cure for any virus at this time, including the common flu, measles, mumps, chickenpox, etc. All of us have caught one of these viruses at some stage in our life and still have the virus inside of our body. It is no different with herpes.
Your immune system is perfectly capable of dealing with and permanently suppressing any virus that it encounters, including herpes, but sometimes the body needs help and persistence to get on top of the symptoms.
Paying attention to your health and being consistent with a treatment regime (whether it be prescription or complimentary) can be helpful here.
The upside of having herpes
A diagnosis of herpes can actually have some ‘positive’ effects too. For some people, having herpes can mean a better quality of life by paying more attention to the body and motivating us to improve our overall health.
The state of a person’s health can be a big factor in keeping the symptoms under control, so making positive diet and lifestyle changes can have countless benefits.
Herpes can also help us to choose more wisely when it comes to partners and relationships. When you need to disclose something as personal as herpes, becoming intimately involved with another person can become something that is shared only with people who deeply respect and care for us. This can help to give us very real and true experiences in our relationships.
When one door shuts another door opens, and it is important to focus on the powerful personal strengths that can come from this situation. The first steps are to work towards eliminating the physical symptoms, finding forgiveness in your heart if there is any resentment that needs working on, and then move forward positively to the future.
Unconsciously, many of us have a lot of negative beliefs related to herpes that make it difficult to convince ourselves that others would want to be with us. It is important to recognize these beliefs and consciously change them.
Accepting the fact that you have herpes will make it easier to let others into your life.
A practical challenge to overcome negativity
- Sit down with a pen and paper and say to yourself, “I have herpes.” What thought pops into your head? No matter what it is, write it down. Do this again and again until you have identified a number of the stereotypical/negative feelings that you have about herpes.
- Look at your list. How many of the negative feelings or beliefs are truly valid? Take your list and replace each of your negative beliefs with a positive one.
- You have the power to change what you believe about yourself. Whenever you find your inner voice telling you that you can’t do or have anything that you desire, simply interrupt it and firmly repeat to yourself your positive replacement. The more often you repeat these positive statements, the more they reinforce themselves.
- You can think and believe whatever you choose about yourself. It might take some repetition. Years of negative belief patterns do not disappear overnight. But eventually, by deliberately replacing your old negative beliefs with positive new ones, you can begin to change how you think and feel about yourself – consciously and unconsciously.
Well done! You have confronted a difficult issue in your life with courage and consideration.
If the symptoms are happening frequently it can make it more difficult to think positively. If you are finding that this is happening to you, it could be helpful to assess your diet and where it could be improved to help prevent an outbreak from happening.
Taking care of yourself is likely to help reduce herpes outbreaks, which includes factors such as:
- eating right
- avoiding excess stress
- getting quality sleep
There is also a range of different treatments which can help to clear outbreaks more quickly and help to stop them from recurring. Please take a look at our Herpes Treatment section for a list of options that have worked well for others.
Always be safe and inform any partners of the small risk of transmission before being sexually intimate.
And just remember, never let a skin condition define who you are, or your happiness… this journey is a long adventure and this is just one pebble along the way.