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Im 7 months pregnant and full of questions

Discussion in 'Fertility, Childbirth & Pregnancy with Herpes' started by mom 2 be, Dec 18, 2007.

  1. mom 2 be

    mom 2 be Newbie

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    Hi there ladys,
    This question is for all the mothers hsv 2.
    Let me give you some back round on me. I am now 7 1/2 months pregnant.
    I found out i was psotive at about 5months pregnant. I am on suppressive therapy but I havent really been taking it devotedly till about a week ago because of funds I wanted to make sure I had enough valtex for my last 6 weeks of pregnancy.
    Eitherway, I was diagnosed by my MID-WIFE not my DOCTOR. My Dr, who refused to do a blood test on me would have delivered my baby with out checking me thoroughly.
    SInce my diagnoses I have been really close to my mid -wife ( who will not be delivering my baby ). She really comforts me and takes time to talk to me. I confrated her and said why did you give me a blood test and MY dr wouldnt, what If I hadnt found out becuase he refused to test me ?? I cant belive he would risk my baby like that.
    So from there on you could Imagine how much I hated my DOCTOR.
    So here is the Juicy stuff.
    I had my second visit with my DOCTOR who will be delivering my baby yesterday. I was so anxious to discuss my birth plan with him and get some re assurance that every thing was fine.
    so here is a script of how my appointment went:
    He walks in the room and the first thing he says is " YOU'VE GOT TO STOP GAINING WEIGHT".
    I paused and felt alittle ofended but i let it slide. ( mind you I hate him now, and he is no by no means a humorus guy so he wasnt joking)

    I than ask him if I could discuss myu birth plan with him since I was diagnosed with HSV 2 (ME LETTING HIM KNOW THAT HE WAS WRONG BY NOT TESTING ME ).
    Without even so much as looking up at me, he continues to write something in my chart and reply's "sure go ahead discuss"

    Son me nervous that he isnt going to answer any of my questions, I proceed..I say " Dr. I've read on the in ternet that scalp monitors are not safe for hsv moms. I have heard it can cause puncture wounds in the babys head allowing the virus to enter I think we should use it, or any other tools like vacumms"

    This a**hole replys, " I can't believe you want to risk your babys life. This toold are intended to help you not hurt you. I wouldnt put something on the baby to hurt Him. He goes on about how Im inconviencing his staff and Im wrong to even suggest such a thing. AND THAT I OFFENDED HIM.

    by now this jerk is YELLING, and Im fighting back my tears because im scared to death.

    He refuses to schedule a c-section, he says no it isnt nessacery.
    so Im even more scared.

    I reply back to this Dr ( Im fighting tears and bighting my toungue )
    Dr. This was something i read, and it scared me I just wanted to talk about it.

    he reply's : NO, YOU DIDNT!! YOU DIDNT READ THAT ANY WHERE.
    I say "yes, ont he internet"

    he says no one on the internet says that either ( like Im f*cking lieng about it). He says wha you read a stupid bloggers idea of a safe delivery and now your scared ?????

    I cut the whole thing short and ask for him to talk to my insurance about my valtrex since they arent goingto cover it any more and say I got to go.

    he agrees and lets me out.

    Now, here is my questions:
    1. Should I blast this son of a b*tch for making me even more paranoid since im the first hsv mom he is dealing with and take matters into my own hands ?

    2.should i persist on no scalp monitors ?
    3.Are they any real studies done on these monitors that i can print out and show this son of a gun that he's wrong ?
    4. what should I do , I hate his guts !!!!!
  2. mom 2 be

    mom 2 be Newbie

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    add on to my message

    Sorry for All the type o's. I noticed that i had mentioned in the scalp monitor portion of me message that i said i wanted to use tools, i ment I DONT WANT TO..so just clarifying that..
  3. catiesmom

    catiesmom Well-Known Member

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    That's awful! Is there ANY way to get a different doctor? A doctor who blasts you for asking questions and being concerned is NOT the kind of person i'd want in the room when i'm giving birth, especially if you've got HSV concerns!!! Geezus, i'm sorry FOR you.

    I don't have much advice about the birthing thing cause i got HSV after i had Catie, but i hope it works out well, and i SINCERELY hope you can get a better doctor!!! Please let us know, k?
  4. Caliope

    Caliope Well-Known Member

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    post deleted.
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  5. mom 2 be

    mom 2 be Newbie

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    Yes this is my first baby. Im 22 years old and didnt find out I had hsv till i was 5 months pregnant. Im really scared and alone. I never knew I was allowed to interview my Dr before Hiring them. and to be honest with you it wouldnt make to much differnce, since there are only to baby dr in the town i live in and the Doctor i have excepts my insurance where as the other one doesnt. My mid wife is a sweet heart but she told me she doesnt deliver babys. but I will voice my concerns to her. What I really care about is if the use of any tools really do add a reason for concern. I would like to hear someone that has had a vaginal delivery and used tools to deliver.
    IM SCARED ...please any more advice helps !!!!!
  6. Caliope

    Caliope Well-Known Member

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  7. mom 2 be

    mom 2 be Newbie

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    no i havent mentioned it, but do you think this ass hole would really refer me to another Doctor he wont even talk to me like a human let alone to me any favors...Im scared ..Im leaving after the first of the year to my mom in florida for a visit , if all goes well I plan on going to the hospital my sister delivered in the dr's are christians and really kind..Please pray I get stuck in florida long enought to have this baby LOL
    my better half and I really dont have enough money to stay longer than 2 weeks, but If he finds work there he mioght conisider staying to have the baby...please keep me in prayer
  8. bristolgal

    bristolgal Member

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    I'm sorry your doctor is a prick. I havn't had a baby but know some facfts you might find useful.

    1) you DONT need a scalp monitor. They can use an external feteus monitor. Stand your ground with this one. It really isnt necessary, unless it is an extreme medical emergancy (by which point you won't be worrying about herpes!)

    2) A cesarian is not necessary either. It is advised if you have an OB at the time of established labour, but otherwise a vaginal birth is considered safe. Its common practise in the UK for mums with hsv-2 to have a vaginal birth, as the transition rate is REALLY low and it is far riskier for YOU to have a C section than it is for the child to catch hsv

    3) it is most important to take suppresive therapy for 2 weeks before you go into labour. I'd lay off the valtrex till you are 36 weeks, might save you some money.

    Hope this helps!
  9. skydreams

    skydreams Active Member

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    Although we're about the same age, I can't imagine being in an emotional situation like yours. After reading your posts, I'm going to give a bit of tough love in hopes that you'll listen.

    There's no doubt your doctor is a negligent prick and has no business being employed to care for your or your child. That being said though, you seem to have a victim complex and are just coming up with excuses why you're stuck where you are and there's nothing you can do.

    I do that myself all the time, so trust me, this is the pot calling the kettle black. But, the bottom line is that insurances have plenty of doctors that take their policies and sometimes you need to drive out for a decent doctor. I live in a small town myself, and if I were to become pregnant, I too would have to drive out about an hour to a respectable doctor with experience in an hsv mother's birth.

    You NEED to get proactive in getting a new doctor. Look at the back of your insurance card and call the number for a list of obgyns, most insurance companies even have websites where you can sort out by distance and specialty. Make an appointment and notify the insurance company, it's within your right to file a complaint against the doctor as well. Honestly, although I'd love to punch your doctor in the face, there is no one to blame but yourself if you don't take the steps to go to someone else.
  10. HSV2Mom

    HSV2Mom Newbie

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    mom 2 be

    I went through the same worries as you. One thing to consider is, will this doctor be on call during your labor? Maybe not. If he's the only physician in the OBGyn's office then he most likely will deliver your baby and that will suck. If he is the only physician, try to request someone else. It's very likely no other doctor will take you on as a patient with you being 7 months pregnant. I tried to change doctors after my 16th week and I couldn't so I was stuck.

    You can have a vaginal deliver just fine as long as you don't have any outbreaks or are shedding. I believe this is why they have you take Valtrex starting at 36 weeks to help control it. I had a vaginal delivery.

    I too have read that fetal scalp monitors put tiny puncture holes in their scalps which can increase the liklihood of the HSV (if you are shedding) to pass to your infant which is not good. I told the nurses that I didn't want that and that they were to do everything else they had to in order to check the baby's heart rate which they did. They strapped a monitor across my stomach and was able to monitor her heartbeat.

    I took Valtrex every day from 36 weeks on and checked myself daily to make sure I was ok. It's tough for me because I don't have outbreaks.

    Make sure you tell the nurses in the delivery room that you have HSV2 and that you want them to examine you to make sure everything looks ok. Neither of our families know that we have HSV and it was very difficult to keep the nurses apprised of our situation without family being around. We asked the nurses to shove the family out of the room (which my family was not happy about).

    There is a stigma that goes along with having HSV2 and we didn't want our child to be singled out because of our (well me) horrible past.

    I hope I was able to answer your questions.
  11. living4me

    living4me Newbie

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    I understand where you are coming from I was also five months prego when I find out I had HSV2...there is def alot of extra emotions that go into this just because you are now concerned with another person..let me tell you this if your doctor is acting like that to you,you have the right to get medical care somewhere else and if you want a c-section you can get that as well just because he is a doctor does not mean they know everything and in some cases they may not even be supportive of you as in my case I had to pull teeth just to get a culture done to find out my problem was HSV2.listen rightnow all you need to be concerned about is you and your baby try to let the stress go over you and relax your baby will be fine and in the mean time look up hone rememdies to help with your discomfort and try to reach out to tohers as well with your questions and concerns.take care
  12. scared1220

    scared1220 Newbie

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    HEY HOOOCHHH!!! Sorry I haven't replied 2 u in the private messages but my phone is the only way for me 2 connect to the internet and for sum reason it is messing up and it is not allowing me 2 view the private messages therefore I can't reply 2 them but anyways.... ur doc is an asshole and if I were u I would tell his ass of asap and give him the boot... I would curse him out so bad he would wish he never met me... girl step ya game up and let his ass no he work for u u don't work 4 him.... what u told him about internal fetal monitors was correct and don't let him choose what kind of delivery u want... as I told u b4 I chose the section becuz I was way 2 scared for my baby 2 pass thru the birth canal doctors r humans and they may say the baby only got 1% chance of catching it but nah I don't trust that.. What if u r shedding the virus with no symptoms then what?? I just didn't feel comfortable with my baby passing thru sumthing that could of potentially hurt him.. Now if he would of caught it in utero that would have been beyond anyones control... on the other hand I can't wait till u have ur little man!! I'm so excited and if u do end up having a scheduled cesearean remember I just had 1 1 month n a half ago and its really not bad at all... I was walkin that night around 1 am with the help of a nurse and the next morning I was good all by my self!!!!!!! Girl u can do it!!!! But plz change docs quick!!!!! He is an asshole I wanna curse him out 4 u!!!!
  13. scared1220

    scared1220 Newbie

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    Oh yea and living4me I noticed u said u were diagnosed at 5 months prego.... so did u have a csec or vaginal?? And did ur baby come out healthy and also what did u have boy or girl???
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