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I miss getting eaten out.

Discussion in 'Sex, Kissing and Intimacy' started by pandachan, Jun 5, 2012.

  1. pandachan

    pandachan Member

    Seriously? Has anyone else had some serious depression about this factor? (GHSV-1 here, which means mouth business is dangerous buisness)

    I don't know how to get over how sad the idea of never having somebody's face between my legs is. I'm one of those broken dolls that it takes certain things to get off, and that's one of the few.

    How do you 'get over' this factor? :c
  2. Hurtdeep

    Hurtdeep Member

    Yes, I am actually suicidal because of this. ghsv has been a MAJOR set back in my life and I feel it is ridiculous to live continuously miserable just for the sake of living.
  3. luckyCat

    luckyCat Active Member

    I missed it for several years. It became less problematic once I started dating on H sites. Of course, I suppose there is a risk of cross transmission if youre 69ing or something like that, but after a point I didnt really care and just enjoyed it.
  4. WarriorKing

    WarriorKing Staff Member

    • Super Moderator
    It doesn't have to be something lost. Either with an H positive partner or with a H negative partner that has accepted the risk, all sexual activity is still available.
  5. non stop guy

    non stop guy Active Member

    U just need to date someone with oral hsv1.more than half the people on earth
  6. LMC

    LMC Member

    I have genital and oral, but i got it from my fiance so nothing has changed in our sex life. We still do the same things including oral
  7. mortmaiden

    mortmaiden Active Member

    Why not receive oral sex?

    60% of US adults have ORAL hsv-1. Oral hsv-1 is about 5 times as infectious as ghsv-1, because it activates more frequently. Simply kissing is the greatest risk for catching oral hsv-1.

    Hsv-1 is 'better adapted' to the mouth. All this means is that once you have an established oral hsv-1 infection, is is likely to recur more frequently than a genital hsv-1 infection. Hsv-1 does not 'prefer' the mouth!!! I.e., if you have genital hsv-1, it doesn't mean that your hsv-1 is dying to leap onto the mouth of anyone who gives you oral sex. It is no more likely to be transmitted to someone's mouth from your genitals than it is to be transmitted to someone's genitals from your genitals through intercourse - i.e., genital to mouth transmission is unlikely because ghsv-1 does not activate very often.

    If your boyfriend would be happy to kiss someone who gets cold sores when they do not have a cold sore, he should be perfectly happy to give you oral sex, since the risk of transmission is actually smaller.

    I have ghsv-1. My boyfriend (no history of cold sores) gives me oral sex whenever we feel like it! We've never worried about it, and I'm not on suppressive therapy or anything.
    2ndChance2010 likes this.
  8. pandachan

    pandachan Member

    This is really nice to hear. I don't know if he sees it the same way or not. I'm still nervous about talking about it, I kind of have just been having small conversations with him. I asked yesterday if he's ever had a coldsore, and explained that would make him have the antibodies, and he said he couldn't remember but he had kissed someone with cold sores before. I think he's more accepting of it than I am, but I just get so awkward about it I haven't wanted to let him go down because I guess I made it more risky/taboo in my head. Maybe not all hope is lost... But it's still gonna take a while to accept certain things.

    Thanks for responding.
  9. Finallyhopeful

    Finallyhopeful Active Member

    I've always had oral performed on me in my relationships. I have never passed it on.
  10. decided

    decided Active Member

    Anybody with GHSV2 have any advice/experience regarding this? I have the same feelings of desperately missing oral sex, but with a different type of H
  11. Finallyhopeful

    Finallyhopeful Active Member

    I'm pretty sure mine is type 2. I've never been type tested, but I'm pretty certain. It's literally never been a problem. I'm not saying everyone should run out and do it, as I am married and my husband knows the risk. But there are other women on here who also have oral and haven't passed it in decades of marriage.
  12. I've given and received oral -- we were both GHSV2 and in our first year (supposedly, this indicates that we were especially communicable). I absolutely LOVE giving and receiving and could not let a little nuisance get in my way. When I get caught up in the moment, I simply must have whatever it is which I want. Burying my face in any part of my partner's body is a quasi-sacred act to me. It forges enduring memories, instantaneous bonding and untold pleasure, which is the whole purpose. Sex that is harnessed with "safe" rules soon loses it's torrid, visceral qualities and one may soon find that it isn't worth the trouble. I don't recommend that you cut yourself short.

    On a side note, I should mention that I used to be afraid of life. I was a desperate, shy, incredibly naive kid from the middle of nowhere. It was because of this that I grew despondent and suicidal. Getting through that morbid episode made me realize I truly had nothing to lose. Life soon beckoned and the clouds begrudgingly parted. I asserted that I would no longer would defer when opportunity beckoned, I would not run when challenged. This motivates me in the bedroom and beyond.

    Just a thought or two . . .
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2012
  13. decided

    decided Active Member

    Could you use less flowery language! :) I don't really get what you mean. Are you disclosing?

    On another note, no one really knows what the rates of transmission for HSV2 oral are. I read in Terry Warren's book and it says that oral HSV2 is very rare, and if you do have it, it only sheds 1% of the time. Most people who get it orally already have issues with their immune system, like HIV, or are under chemo, but not a lot of clinical testing has been done. I imagine this must be hard for lesbians with H, literally no one has done testing on transmission between female same sex partners. This is why I was looking for people's personal experience. Thanks so much mrhonest and finallyhopeful for responding.

    More research needs to be done on herpes! We should all write to our representatives in the government and to the Center for DIsease Control to step up and understand this disease, and hopefully even come up with a vaccine or a cure. It's ridiculous how little we know about this disease.
  14. Acesheart

    Acesheart HC Support Provider

    Hey I too have oral pleasures and I wouldn't have it any other way. We are females and this is apart of what makes us turned on and feel sexual and sensual and all the good things that come with with being in a loving relationship or just being in love, for some lust but nomatter. My hubby is still non H man and he too has always known the risk of me being GHSV2 . He enjoys this as much as I do. lol. So your life of eating at the Y , for you, isnt over unless you choose it to be. I have never let my H take anything away from me. I will never let my H define who I am as a woman or a good person that I know I am. I always say "am a very HOTT & POSITIVE GIRL"..Welcome to the family..
    Hope to meet you soon. Truly, Ace. :)
  15. pandachan

    pandachan Member

    I love you guys so much, just had to throw it out there, I really, really appreciate the support I have found on these forums. THANK YOU. Thanks for taking the time to respond, and having the love to care.
  16. Acesheart

    Acesheart HC Support Provider

    Hey pandachan, we are always here for you or anyone who ever needs our support. I thought your post was an excellent piece of info many here may not know how to talk about. Me i am not shy here, so anytime you want to talk or have a question, please write it here or message me I will happily answer all. It is so nice having you here. Make yourself at home, as you are part of the new family. Truly, Ace. :)
    Rainbow life likes this.
  17. pandachan

    pandachan Member


    I really related to this piece of yourself, and it's comforting to hear from others who have perservered and found themselves despite hardship and pain that had kept them down in the past. Thank you for that. <3

    Thank you Ace! It always puts a smile on my face to read your positive encouragements. I feel blessed to have found a home here. I feel so much less alone than I did the first few months. And the more time I spend here, yes, I learn a lot about H and H-related things, but I also learn that life goes on. Sure, some days I feel like misery loves company, and I need to rant and rave, but others I'm just like 'You know what? I can do this.' And a huge part of this portion of my own personal recovery is directly related to the support I have found in HC.

    Mad, mad love, y'all.
  18. MusicalLassUk

    MusicalLassUk Newbie

    Ok so I have only just got diagnosed with genital herpes, I was having pretty bad break outs at first but now take meds every day twice (prescribed by the doctor). So if someone goes down on me is it possible for them to get it? I have genital herpes, not oral. I'm totally confused. Thanks in advance
  19. decided

    decided Active Member

    musiclassuk -

    Traditionally HSV2 is downstairs and HSV1 is upstairs., but unfortunately you can get both types of HSV upstairs and downstairs. It is really really rare for people to get HSV2 upstairs, but it can happen. The personal accounts that I have heard about HSV2 upstairs are people who already have immune system issues, like HIV or undergoing chemo, but it *can* happen. So it's best to let your partner know.

    I read a statistic on this site (so I'm not 100% sure that it's true) that 70% of new cases of genital herpes for women are HSV1. How crazy! I knew HSV1 contributed to a lot of the new genital herpes infections, but I didn't realize how many!

    So in summary, HSV goes where ever you put it, but if you are careful (no sex during OBs and have your uninfected partner wash afterwards with soap) then you should be fine. There is always a risk and the best you can do is to be mindful and be careful.
  20. pandachan

    pandachan Member

    Undecided;; can you link me to that statistic? That's.. alarmingly high. Weird.
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